She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
