yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
