You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize