ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
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