Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
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