He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
