if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
