He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
well I can't set my house on fire every night
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize