dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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