btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm at about main and main street
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
