I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
