Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
