suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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