She's JV to your varsity
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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