Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
he was CRYING into my vagina
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
