So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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