You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
