I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
