i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
