this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
