youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
