Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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