and my herpes radar will keep us safe
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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