I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
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