i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
