we have pet lesbian snakes
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
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