Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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