Who did Billy Mays play for?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
