Just took my morning after pill in the library
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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