Jerry, you need to find god
I showed him my bush... on skype.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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