Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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