My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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