I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
