I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
