He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
