Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You made out with two different species that night
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
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