chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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