what if every blade of grass was a penis?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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