My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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