I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
