I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
