so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
