My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
