I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize