Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
