Please, let me fuck your mom
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
