I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
