I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
