somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
