I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Randomize
