And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
