I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
They have beer where we have blood.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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