She's JV to your varsity
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
