I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize