brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Who died my cat blue again?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
