The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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