You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
