what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
