if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
