What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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