I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
