Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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